Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Unanswered Question

At the end and beginning of every term, there’s one question that always baffle me. The answer for this question has eluted me for quite a while: What is the purpose of all this?

When I was applying for university, I had no idea what I want to major in. I figure once I am accepted into one, I’ll just try different things until I find something I enjoy. Being the Chinese parents that they are, my parents wanted me to enrol in something that can give me a career. It is either Comp sci or Eng and hence my eng journey beings. Applications were sent to UBC, SFU, UT, Mac and UW. With a mid 70’s average, prospect of my eng career seem grounded before it even took off. I remember praying one night, asking to be accepted in eng at one of the university. Being the unfaithful me, I did not expect any mail from UW. But to show He was listening and to teach me a lesson, an unconditional offer for Enviro chem eng at UW was received. I was reluctant to accept since I did not plan on leaving home. However, God start closing doors on me. Out of all the universities, UW is the only one that accepted me with a finial average in the mid 80’s. I begun to ponder then, what is the purpose behind this? With the question in mind, off to UW I go.

I was hoping I would be able to answer the question after first year. As first year draw to an end, the question is still unanswered. I did not put much effort in my studies and as I barely pass each year, I realized that God wants me to finish this program. But then why?

Is it so important to have answer to the question right now? Am I too impatient, searching for the answer instead of faithfully waiting for God to answer when I am ready? If I know the answer, will I stray away from God’s purpose? Is that the reason why this question is unanswered?

As my last work terms ends and I begin my last school term, I am still waiting for the answer. You would think I will remember something that simple, but I was reminded once again as I ponder, try to answer this question myself, that everything happened for a reason and even though I might not understand the purpose behind it, I have faith that God has the best intentions and that he will reveal to me in due time.

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